Author: Jean

 

 

 

 

 

  throw me into the ocean

  let her swallow me whole

  i will pour myself into her

  until she renders me weightless

  and lifts me up

  in the palm of her hand

  an offering to the moon and the stars

  i will ride her waves

  gentle ripples that rise

  to torrents of violent dancing

  let me be churned and

  turned inside out

  completely dissolved

  immersed in a baptism

  down to the very cells

  that pulse as oceans within me

  let her wash away everything

  that isn’t wild and bubbling

  with freedom

  and then

  and only then

  set me safely back on shore   

 

 

 

 

 

           we are here,

           great torchbearers

           of this lifetime

 

           born into the light

           of our inheritance,

           from a long line

           of sacred blood and spirit

 

           we carry that flame

           kindled in our hearts

           the fires of

           all the love,

           all the pain,

           the infinite

           joys and struggles

         

           what was done and

           what was left undone

 

           in the dark unknown

           of what might come

           raise your lantern,

           release all fear,

           guided by grace and angels
           step into what calls you, 

           the many behind you

           will not let you fall

    Today is Halloween and I already confronted fear as I showed up to write this. What I wrote yesterday was so well received that it caused me hesitation in writing today. In my mind I thought “What if that is the best? What if nothing more comes?”. I drew myself back to my original intention, that this is a creative experiment, and I am simply trying to be an open channel and trusting that what emerges is what was needed on that day, in that moment, even if it is for myself alone.

As I relaxed into that it occurred to me that today is Halloween, the day where the veil between this world and the spirit world is thin, and this image popped into my head. I went and found the photo and the words came from there. These words are the very reminder I needed, to have faith in my journey and that everything is arriving on time, through a guidance beyond me and behind me. I am not alone.

I wish I had my own family tree of photographs to use here, but living in China, this idea of honoring ones ancestors is a prominent part of the culture, and this was part of a display at a museum of local architecture. The picture isn’t perfect but it is what presented itself. Just like my poem suggests, I let go of fear and stepped into what called me. Creating by faith, trusting the flow.

Take some time on this Halloween to remember your ancestors, both those known and those unknown, in the end we are all one family, in it together. 

            

              

 

          

 

           

          

             

        

 

              

 

 

       make a pilgrimage,
       one that will truly
       change you

       not the one to the
       pretty place,
       the temple that has
       been well tended
   
       go past that one
       out into the wilds
       far beyond

       all the way to the
       lonely edge
       of shadow and decay,
       to the temple that echos
       of heartbreak and tears
    
       kneel there amidst
       the dirt and debris,
       sit beside despair,
       hold her in your arms
       like a mother holds
       her child

       utter the prayers
       that have waited,
       once forgotten,
       and in the holy
       emptiness be heard

I have shared before on my blog about my life long struggle with depression and anxiety. Today is gloomy and rainy here in Shanghai, and I woke today in a bit of a depressive mood, and it is alright. I have learned how to be with these waves that come through me, how to sit in visitation, knowing that they pass. Some days that comes easier than others, but I know I have grown most in my life by being willing to go there. I can not heal what I am not willing to be with. I know when I make the pilgrmage into these dark places with the light of faith and practice to guide me, the prayers I give to the emptiness are heard. That does not mean there is no more struggle, it simply means I am held in the journey of what is. We all have such struggles in one form or another and this poem is my offering to that.
       
      
 This picture was taken in Delhi, India.    
      
      
        

 

 

 

 

 

 

be generous

in uplifting others,

nothing extraordinary

is of necessity

meet another

truly look at them 

and smile

 

a thing so simple

is enough

to put the sun back

in someones sky,

or breathe joy

into a lonely heart,

invisible no longer

 

see each face

not with judging eyes

but with the eyes of love,

give freely these

offerings of beholding,

blissful recognition

to see each other

through those eyes is

to see ourselves

and know we are divine

 

this love needs no language

it has no limits or borders

it comes to gently shake us,

to wake us up from the illusion

that we could be separate from each other

 

we belong to each other, truly

holding hands and hearts

walking this path called life

 

 

 This picture was taken on a tour I did to a tea plantation here in China. I wish I had a picture of myself smiling at her to accompany the photo of the beautiful smile she gave to me. We could not stop to chat with each other because of the language barrier, but her smile alone touched me deeply. China gets a lot of bad press in the world and some of it is valid. I just hope that we can always remember that people everywhere around the world are the same, people living, working, caring for families, seeking fulfillment, longing for connection. Namaste.
 

 

 

 

 

            rest here at the feet of the earth

              plant your own deep roots

                  find the will to stay

 

              the way is to meet stillness

 

           where do you have to get to anyway?

              what could be more important

            than listening to the rustle of  leaves

          or communing with a slow unfolding fern?

 

         the fern and the leaves know more about living

           than you can hope to discover somewhere

            out in the wide populous lonely world

             here you can live into the big space
              the one your soul longs to occupy
               the one beyond ideas and stories
             with no words like could or should

              rest here at the feet of the earth
                 plant your own deep roots
                 give yourself to the grace
              of what rises from within you
         
               these roots will give you wings
                              to fly

I am a nature girl, always have been. I have said many times that the things I miss most living in Shanghai are my family, my friends and the forest. I find the forest to be magical and healing. When I am in nature I feel renewed and reconnected to myself.  Even if I can’t get out into pure nature, just feeling my feet on the ground helps me regain my center.
 
             
                          
 

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

     simplicity is

     freedom

     spacious and pure,

     ruthlessly peel back

     all these layers of life,

     keep what is true

     release what is false,

     distill it down to it’s

     bare essence,

     the bones of being,

     empty each moment

     to the bottom

     of it’s deep well, 

     chisel experience

     down to small pebbles

     that you drop in

     marked with the question

     “who am i?”

     seek the answer

     at the center of stillness

     formless and wordless,

     the simplicity of what

     is known and not learned,

     bring it back,

     paint it on the walls of

     your life,

     wisdom comes in few words

     awareness

     feeling

     love

 

 

This one came as a total stream of consciousness, and I have left it as is.

I do know that I have been contemplating simplicity a lot lately. Craving it in my life.

Would love to hear how you think about simplicity.  

       

       

      

           

 

                        there is a city of light

                        deep within you

                        the way to get there

                        is to get lost

                         to be lost from any identity

                         to be lost from all attachment

                         to be lost to all grasping or striving

                         allowing all things to come or to go

                         as they will

                        return again and again

                        to this city of self

                        ever evolving

                        a state of being and presence

                        in a moment,

                        this very moment

                        you are already there

   I will confess, this one had to struggle to get through as I am a bit off balance energetically and emotionally today. The words speak to this state. At the heart of this experiment is my quest to create by faith , to be vulnerable and to make an offering no matter what shows up. So today I got the very challenge that I asked for. For now I am off to my cushion, to consider these words, it is needed. xos for today.

let’s go to our attics and basements
haul out all our old baggage and the
dusty relics we have stored away
these things we said we never wanted
to look at, touch, or visit again

i will open all my bags and boxes,
hold up all my locked away pieces,
i will show them to you,
will you show me yours?

not to wallow in what they once meant
not to revisit their brokenness
or linger in the neglect that they have endured
but to perform an alchemy
as children who know
that magic and miracles happen
all around us
if we believe in them
if we believe in ourselves

these things will be rediscovered

rebirthed

we will hold them close to know
their very essence
we will shape them with
our hands and hearts
into royal robes and jeweled crowns

lets put them on and
run barefoot through the back door
straight to the field of long grass and sunshine
where we will play and dance
skip and run
and let our laughter swell and echo
all the way to heaven and back

 

   why run away from serenity

  when she is sitting here calling

  for you to come rest in her arms?

  why bite these hooks of insanity

   when you could open up

  and swim in the ocean of freedom?

 why do you rush around town

  knocking on all these doors

   in search of contentment

 when he is sitting at your table

   right under your own roof?

   why do you pace and paw

  in a cage you built yourself

     when the passage out
is to become soft like surrender?

 why all this questing and searching

        looking high and low

 this forever calling out for something

           that seems lost
when you can find it
forever in your own heart?

       come lie down here

       give yourself to rest

    cup your weary head in

     your own loving hand

     close your eyes upon all

            this struggle

      the inner eye will see

        to bring you home

 This one showed up today and I know it is a message for me. If you read it and it is also a message for you, take it into your heart and find time to rest, to retreat. Namaste.