I waited too long to write today.
It is 6:30 pm.
I have cooked and fed my family.
Dogs fed and walked.
I hit the wall now.
I do not sleep well at night.
That is when anxiety strikes. Shaking me awake at 2 or 3 am. Sends me tossing and turning on waves of vague untouchable worry.
I sometimes get conscious enough to apply breathing technique and mantra.
Other times the grip of anxiety blocks all reason, the only thing kept asleep under its tightly wrapped night sweat blanket.
This is the way anxiety often manifests for me, but not only, and not always. There are many other ways for many other people.
To all of us who live with experiences of anxiety, we deserve to take good care of ourselves in whatever way we need to. We do not have to explain or defend our needs.
We may need meds, naps, therapy, nature, exercise, couch time, routines, rituals, hot bathes, cold showers, ice cream at midnight, or any other thing. There are so many among us who can’t claim, are unsupported, or do not have access to what would soothe or alleviate.
I wish to make a village of us. So at the very least we no longer feel alone.